blessed.

Over the past few days I have been blessed to have an experience that cannot be described in words.

My new calling at church (the "job" I do for my congregation) is called Compassionate Service.  Usually I just coordinate meals for people who just need some extra help whether it is because they just had a baby, the family is sick, or help when someone passes away.

I have only been in my new calling for about three weeks. In the meantime we got a new bishop and had some other changes as well.  I know what babies are coming due and I thought I was fairly on top of things. Then Bishop called me and asked if I would be able to coordinate dinners for a fairly large group for Friday through Tuesday nights. These meals would be for a lady who is on the "do not contact" list.  This "list" is for members who request to be on it.  They usually have left the church and do not want anything to do with it.

I was nervous because I had picked up on underlying tones of "be careful, this lady does not like us!"

Friday fell on the beginning of a holiday weekend.  Nobody was around to help with a meal and anyone who was around probably did not know my number or who I was so they just didn't answer. I was able to pull a meal together and with the help of one wonderful and already over-worked sister in my neighborhood we even got some snacks together for visitors who would be around throughout the weekend.

The time came to drop off the meal and there were a lot of small "miracles"  My boys went down for their naps so easily which left plenty of time for me to put the meal together and deliver it without having to take them.  As of Friday I did not know any background at all on this sweet sister, so all I knew was that she had just lost her son and I could help by delivering food.

My experience with her was touching.  She was sweet, sincere, grateful, and humble.  She let me in with warmth and gratitude.  I am naive and socially awkward right now but I enjoyed just talking life briefly.  She gave some vague information about where her son was when he died but didn't offer up any more information.  I didn't push because I didn't want to pry.  I left my name and number and told her that I we were neighbors and she could call if she needed help with anything.  After politely refusing, I thought my job was done and I was hoping she wouldn't mind if the boys and I said "hello" on our neighborhood walks.

Saturday night rolls around and Bishop called again to make a meal for an even larger group of people-for Tuesday night after the actual funeral. I was stressed because I couldn't pull that off on my own with our tight budget and my frazzled brain so I made a sign-up sheet to pass around on Sunday.  I was subbing with the 11 year old class so I couldn't even be there to explain anything.  At the end of our 3 hour block of church I collected the sheet- and it was FULL.  Every slot was filled with a wonderful, caring sister who was willing to help put this meal together.

Today finally rolled around and we were able to collect all the parts of the meal and this time the RS president was in town to come with me.  We went to drop off the meal and the sister remembered my name, invited us in, introduced us to her company and again talked to us with a warm, sincere, appreciative attitude.  She told us that we sisters were the only reason that she had not asked to have her name removed from the records of the church. Then, as we went to collect the second arm-load of food from the car she said that she had something for us. When we came back in we were handed a copy of her remarks from the funeral that day.  She wanted to share her story and explain a little bit about what went on.

I read through the 10 pages or so when I got home and just felt blessed to be the one that this sister chose to let in.  She believes in God, she believes that her son is ok, and she unabashedly shares that. I don't know why she would share such personal words with us- but I am glad she did.  I love how unconditional her love for her son was. Their story was not without poor choices, consequences, but also strength, love, and overcoming challenges.  Because of her I was able to have special time with my sons as they helped me prepare to serve this sister. 

Tyler especially continues to ask about the "lady's child" and if "he is going to come back when Jesus does".  As we were making the dessert for their dinner tonight Tyler was asking if the "child was going to get to come and have some".  Tyler's sweet, innocent, pure, mind probably understands better than mine what is going on.  He seemed so sincere that this "child" who was actually 24 or so, would want to come and have some cake.  Then, unprovoked, in his bedtime prayers tonight, Tyler, so sweetly, asked to "bless the child that he will be okay and he can be with Heavenly Father and his mom will be okay too."

These words are not painting the picture right- in that moment I was humbled by my 4 year-old's faith and sincerity. I can't imagine ever going through losing a child. I hope I never have to find out. I am grateful to have had the opportunity to serve and see the Lord's hand and I feel truly blessed to be the one who got in that door after what had been years of hurt feelings.  I hope the Lord really does qualify who he calls because I know there are far more spiritual people than me out there. This experience made me want to be better so I can have the spirit with me to better fulfill whatever it is that I am supposed to!

Eclipse May 20, 2012

Today was one of those, once-every-18-years-moments.  There was an eclipse and lovely Las Vegas was in the viewing area!  My sister called and dropped off these super cool glasses so we could watch the eclipse. It was so awesome that we called to invite our neighbors over too.  Their family of 5 joined ours and we played in the backyard and took turns watching the moon pass in front of the sun.  It was really cool how it actually got a bit darker and the shadows got all blurry- almost 3-D looking.  Pretty neat!  Tyler kept saying, "that's way out in outer space"  Well, he's right. Wonder what we'll be doing in another 18 years!?

The beginning of Adam's standing.  He just barely started doing this today!

getting his balance...going for it...

And he's up!

for a second at least :)  But really, he'll stand right where he is and take a few steps.  I love the look of excitement and satisfaction on his face after he's taken a few steps.  SO proud of himself.

A picture of the eclipse through the camera with the special glasses on :) Can you see it beginning?  Just the bottom right is getting covered.

pretty cool for a Space Academy alum like myself ;)

Oh- and in case you wondered what Tyler looks like just chillin talking to Granny and Grandpa on the phone before bed.

This guy cracks me up.  He kept telling Grandpa he was "silly" and insists that he's getting a REAL gun for his birthday.  We'll see buddy!

Updated Stats for Adam and Jacob

Took the boys in for a well check today.  Adam is 15months old now and Jacob is 3 years.  Where has the time gone?

Adam has an ear infection again, which makes 2 well checks in a row where we had to skip immunizations because he was sick.  We'll catch up eventually.

Adam @ 15 months is
31.25 inches tall (50-75%)
and 23.2lbs (25-50%)

Jacob is still shy as ever but he did a really good job letting the doctor check him out.  It helps that Tyler is not shy at all and practically got a well check also because he was helping Jake be brave  by letting Dr. A check him out first.  Someday Jake will have his turn in the spotlight...without Tyler :)

Jacob @ 3yrs old is
38.75 inches tall (75%)
31.8 lbs (50%)

Sleep Over in Mom's room!

One weekend in April Ryan drove a car down to California for my grandparents.  While he was gone for a long weekend doing that favor and visiting with Popa I decided that I would try to be nice and keep the boys busy so they wouldn't miss their daddy (but they missed him anyway- in a good way)

One night I promised them that they could have a sleepover in my room.  We made plans and once Adam was down we popped some popcorn and watched a movie in my bed.  Towards the end of the movie my little minions were kicked into their very own sleeping bags and we were all asleep by about 9:30pm.  It was a miracle!  They still only slept in until 5:30  or so, but at least I wasn't up tucking them each back into their beds once or twice.

That morning we made a yummy breakfast and went for a hike. We tried a new trail and ended up meeting up with the cousins because we hiked toward their house and didn't have the energy to make it back to our car :)

It was a fun weekend and we like that daddy got to visit with his Popa too.  They have always been close and it has been a long time since they got to spend some time together. 

If you have ever wondered why we moved... Here it is!

The other day I realized we have never really posted intentional pictures of our new place we are renting in Henderson. It was a sad transition and we were sick (still are kinda) since moving (isn't it summer yet?) so we haven't really been focusing on photographing the new home. The basics are : 2100 sq. ft. 3 bedrooms +loft, 3 bathrooms, 3 car garage (that we can only fit 1 car in- the truck is too big to fit) and an insanely frustrating kitchen :)  Oh, and did I mention the BACK YARD?!?  That, alone is the reason I agreed to this house.  There is a big, huge, wonderful, grassy, backyard that is all ours.  The boys will ask to go outside morning, noon, and night- and I can let them! The swing set was a Christmas purchase and had definitely been used. The sandbox fits nicely off the side of the patio, we finally got a patio dining table to go with our folding chairs and we eat dinner out there at least once a week, and just last week we got a pool for Summer. 

The transition has still been slow and we are working on making friends...still.  It's hard to compare with the ladies I had known for years in our Mountain's Edge ward.  We're working on it though :)  While we're making friends- at least the boys are having a blast!

Beautiful isn't it? No color enhancing needed...just beautiful, real, grass. (I've even mowed it once all on my own when Ryan was out of town.  I was so proud)

Little Man just loving it.  His favorite is the sandbox...which we have learned to keep covered when not in use because there are cats in this neighborhood.  sand = litter box...gross.

In case you haven't noticed before- check out those cheeks and lips!

I love the innocence in those eyes.  He LOVES getting into mischief in the backyard.  Digging up worms in my garden, finding rolly polly bugs to "save" (and usually ends up killing them by "saving" them), moving mountains of rocks to wherever they shouldn't be, turning on the hose and dousing one or both of his brothers, etc.

Jacob is very calculated in his fun.  He has to approach the sprinkler from behind, and somehow, he always finds a way to run through the sprinkler without actually getting wet. This picture is of one of the boys' car wash set ups.

Mother's Day 2012

How lucky am I to have these boys who made me a mother?  I will not pretend that being a mother comes easily to me- but everyday I am grateful I have the chance to try.  Being a mother isn't about being perfect for me, it's about being willing to change the game plan every day, teaching these boys of mine to love and be loved, to have good manners, and to believe in themselves. I am so lucky that they let me make as many mistakes as I do and they love me anyway. In our home we frequently make use of the phrase, "tomorrow is another day. let's start over."  The boys need that a lot right now, but so do I.  Each day I can try again to be a better mom, and each day (for a few minutes at least) they try a little harder to listen and be kind.

I am grateful for all the moms in my life.  I have learned so much from my own mother, of course, but I have also been learning from my grandmas, my mother-in-law, my aunts, my cousins and friends as they become mothers, and all the new friends here.  I love the instant bond between women when you are a mother. I love that you can connect with another mom at the park- simply because you are both moms.

I had a few reminders this past week that not everyone gets to be mothers, or live long enough to raise the children who made them moms, or see the children they had live a full life. I know of someone who passed just after having her third child, another child helped pass out sweet treats to moms at church after just loosing their mother, and there are more than a handful of friends hoping to adopt because they can't have kids or going through painful pregnancies because they want kids- because it is worth it to be a mom.

I tell people frequently that being a mom is the hardest thing that I have done. Even after the late nights, early mornings, being ignored or talked-back to, defied, yelled at, cried on, run to, I am so glad that I have this opportunity.  I know that there is no mom without a dad.  I am so lucky to have the husband I do.  He does more than his fair share and really does love his boys. 

Adam, nearly 15 months old, still just taking a step or two.

The big boys helped Ryan make a cake. Tyler insisted on decorating it :)

They were so sweet.  Tyler would say, "mom you can't do anything because it's Mother's Day."

All four of my boys with their sweet cake.  They even helped clean up around the house and daddy made the boys lunch and tucked them in for naps. It may not sound like much to the average joe- but that is a minor miracle that the boys let someone else tuck them in. 

Tyler's (2nd) Preschool Graduation!

Our little Tyler isn't so little anymore! I have a hard time believing that he will be in Kindergarten in just a few months.  Yesterday was his official graduation from his preschool, ABC etc. that he has been attending since we moved to Henderson.  He was only there about 4 months but he made a few good friends and enjoyed having something special just for him.  He even got to skip napping on his preschool days because he was in the PM class.  We are so proud of him and can't wait to see what he will do from here!

Big man already bugged with mom taking pictures. This is right outside his classroom where I dropped him off and picked him up every day.

 These next pictures are taken with my killer zoom with Adam bouncing around in my other arm.  I wish I had better pictures, but Ryan was filming too so hopefully some of that will work out okay.  And when Tyler's name was finally called a large gentleman stood up right in my way so I didn't get a single shot of him holding his "diploma".  Oh well!

Tyler singing one of their adorable songs.  He was feeling a little under-the-weather and looked REALLY nervous.  He skipped going up for his line and only sang about half of the words to each song.

Where is Tyler?  It was hard to find him in all the blue- but who could miss that cute face?

Still singing.  Almost smiling.

The only picture I was able to get of Tyler walking up to get his diploma.  So serious! A true academic already.



Sweet, adoring, Jacob was sad that he couldn't see Tyler, so Ryan put him up on his shoulders to find Tyler in the crowd.

Finally got a picture of Tyler on his way out.  We were on the wrong side of the gym when he was walking in.

Tyler finally caught out eye, but still didn't look too pleased :)

Pretending to be shy as we were hootin' and hollarin' at him and Jacob got a high five from Tyler on the way.  What a stud!

Tyler The Graduate with his certificate.  So proud of Tyler for doing hard things and can't wait to see what he does next!