I can't believe how fast time is going by. I was just telling Ryan last night how sad I am that our baby is already 7 months old (tomorrow) and Tyler will be 2 1/2 next month. It's been a great learning experience with two- probably one of the biggest challenges of my life so far, actually.
I love having two kids, I am blessed that I was able to have two kids, and I think Heavenly Father must have a good sense of humor entrusting these darling boys to me.
I used to think I was smart, now I know better. I used to think I was organized, now I know better. I used to think I was patient, now I know better. I used to think I knew what it meant to budget, now I know better. Most importantly, I used to think I knew what it meant to love and be loved, now I know better.
Thinking about these two boys almost always brings me to tears...at this stage of life about half of the time the tears are tears of joy the other half of the time they are tears of frustration. I know this is just a stage- but it is a stage that I feel completely unequipped to handle.
Nobody tells you how
challenging being a parent can be. Whereas I am completely overwhelmed, I am also very grateful that my parents went through the same thing and they were willing to
persevere for me. Being a parent challenges me in ways I couldn't imagine. Working with kids for 7 years, you'd think I would have been prepared...but it still stings to have my own kid disobey me, throw fits, tell me "no", and be stubborn. Not to mention attempting to figure out how you like to parent and how your spouse likes to parent and somehow meeting in the middle. Parenting is one thing that I don't think you can truly know how you feel until you're right in the middle of it. What will you do when your kid talks back? How many treats are okay? When will we potty train? Should you spank? What about time outs?...
Attempting to teach a two-year-old has proven to test the limits of my patience. I hope that it is because I realize how important it is for these boys to grow up
valiant and stalwart from the very beginning. I hope it is because I'm trying to prepare them for the difficult situations they will face in the world that awaits them...Most likely, my lack of patience is due to sleep-deprivation and forgetting who I am. Sweet little Tyler doesn't know yet how important his role will be-and I can only guess, and Jacob still has that adorable, innocent twinkle in his eye that can lead you to believe he will work miracles someday.
Isn't it interesting how all those things your parents said to you growing up really are true?! "I only want what's best for you", "One day you'll thank me", "This hurts me more than it hurts you", "I love you no matter what"...the list goes on and on.
Although I may have made my fair share of mistakes so far with Tyler and Jacob I am always willing to pray for help and look forward to another day to try again and do better.
I can't believe how fast they grow up. I only hope that I have time to fix what I have done wrong and teach these boys what they need to know. I am so grateful for the opportunity to have kids, to stay home and (attempt to) raise them right, and to have a husband who is willing to work so hard for what he deserves.
Here's to another day, another month, another year. Can't wait to see just how amazing my boys turn out to be. Love you both more than you know.
Love,
Mom
Tyler found all new (old) toys playing at Grandma and "Batchu"'s house. One of his favorite toys the last day or two was this train whistle. He has always loved trains so he was thrilled.
Jacob and Popa. Jacob is Great-Grandchild #3 of 4. We were lucky enough to meet up with Popa and mom and dad Crooks while we were visiting so Cal. Granny and Grandpa were heading out for a cruise to celebrate their 31st (I think?) anniversary. 
Tyler had to go swimming while we were there. It wasn't too cold- but cool enough that we could only handle swimming in the spa- with it warmed up :) Tyler loved spending time with Grandpa showing off his excessive bravery in water.
This cute little Tyler is so excited to go outside. This was one of the first weeks he was potty training so he felt he didn't need a swim diaer either. He did awesome but his trunks almost fell off! 
Great-Grandma Anita and Tyler on the fireplace. We actually enjoyed a few fires while we were there. We actually got Tyler to sit still for one second to take a picture- miracle!
This was actually from before our trip. Jacob still isn't crawling, but he gets where he wants to go...and where he doesn't want to go. His favorite thing lately is to get stuck under the couch or entertainment center. Classic face, "aren't you going to help me?"
Up on the hands and knees but not going the right direction...yet.
While in California we got to visit my friend Claire and her little guy Jaxson. Jaxson and Jacob are only 4 days apart. This was a day that I almost killed Tyler because he went in to the room while Jake was sleeping, turned on the light and started playing...really?! I was so frustrated. Jake's morning nap is usually his only good one and it was interrupted...hence the really happy face he's making at the end of our play date. Better luck next time!
I think Ihave a problem. I make my boys match...and I like it! Tyler is usually the one who asks to match actually. How can I resist? They both loved spending time with Grandpa. Tyler got special time when he was tiny...now it's Jacob's turn. Grandpa could always get a smile out of him.
We spent one morning down at Newport Pier attempting to get a good Christmas picture. Poor boys both woke up with runny noses and, you can't tell but it was way windy and cold. They did pretty well and it wouldn't have been possible without Grandma there to be my "second shooter".
Tyler loved seeing the ocean again. I love these pictures with natural light. Makes me wish I knew was I was doing a little more. This pier is where we had our engagement pictures taken 5 years ago...almost to the day.
I love these eyes. What a sweet little face. Jacob tried to be good...he really did. We'll see if we get cards out. If we don't then we'll post the "real" picture soon.
